If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
