if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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