i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
