I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
