We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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