Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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