i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
