That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
