My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
