Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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