Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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