Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
