hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
