Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
