I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
