He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
foreskin is a definite game changer
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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