your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
