I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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