Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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