Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Jerry, you need to find god
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It's just like the Real World with babies
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
