So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
