My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
