No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
