Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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