You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
