I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
