please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
