You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
