im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
