guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
