Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
