I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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