i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
