I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
