Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
