My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
