I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
