youre lurking in front of me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
