i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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