Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
