Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
