he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
