How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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