I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
