People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
