Don't you send me to vm
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My vagina is officially offended.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
