Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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