it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
