Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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