problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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